Fic: Can't

Jun. 14th, 2008 04:23 pm
lifevolutionary: Elizabeth Burke (comfortsplit)
[personal profile] lifevolutionary

Author: lifevolutionary

Title:   Can't

Fandom: SGA

Pairing:  John/Rodney

Summary:  'I won’t compete for your affections with John Sheppard.’

Disclaimer: *sing-song* Not mine, not mine, not mine *sing-song* *Peeks out from under eyelashes* *whispers* Is that enough?

A/N: Not canon compliant (oops)


You’re sitting cross-legged on your bed. You hear the chime of the door and wait as he lets himself in but you don’t look up.

 

‘Katie?’ he says, sounding concerned, ‘Is something wrong?’

 

You chuckle but it sounds hollow and sharp.

 

‘Why do you keep doing this to yourself, Rodney?’ You look up and you’re proud of how normal your voice sounds. ‘Why do you keep doing this to me?’

 

He gapes at you. Mouth opening and closing like one of the fish with the iridescent purple and blue scales that migrate, in schools of thousands, past Atlantis twice a year.

 

You take pity on him and continue. ‘We both know I’m not the one you really want to be with.’

 

He finally finds his voice, ‘What?

 

‘What? You think I don’t notice?’ And you can’t stop the bitterness from creeping into your voice, ‘The way you light up every time you see him?’

 

His eyes go wide and his voice flies up into the higher registers, usually reserved for bats and dolphins, ‘Him!?’

 

You sigh and lower your eyes again. So, he doesn’t know he’s doing it, leading you on when he is so obviously, all consumingly, in love with someone else.

 

So it’s not deliberate, that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

 

You lift your shoulders and look him in the eye. You show him your strength and your dignity.

 

You make sure he knows you’re absolutely serious when you say, ‘I can’t be with you anymore, Rodney; I won’t compete for your affections with John Sheppard.’

 

And before he actually manages to register what you’ve just said, before the shock suffuses his features. You see the light that enters his eyes, just hearing the Colonel’s name.

 

And you know, that when you say you ‘wont’ compete, what you really mean is ‘can’t’.

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lifevolutionary: Elizabeth Burke (Default)
lifevolutionary

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